








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2669 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1356 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 4042 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4679 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,301,568 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mobbad tjockis med automatvapen | 418 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | AnkMupp | 151 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | ☆Joanito☆ | 111 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Señor Tirador | 97 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | †ᴥ Neuro-Sama ᴥ† | 89 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeneralRetard ツ | +4.03 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | Mobbad tjockis med automatvapen | +3.63 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | †ᴥ Neuro-Sama ᴥ† | +3.46 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | Señor Tirador | +3.43 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | ☆Joanito☆ | +3.17 | 87 | 40 |





