








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1336 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1502 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1655 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1479 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,552 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | xSt1mpy | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ☆Joanito☆ | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | MORT | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Dsp.Sturrieh | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Fo4m | 45% | 121 |
| #9 | Chicken Horse | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | H3gglund | 36% | 64 |
| #11 | enzO | 35% | 34 |
| #12 | Gregorgeous | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fo4m | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | H3gglund | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ☭ Shade ☭ | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Dsp.Sturrieh | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ☆Joanito☆ | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fo4m | 295 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | ☭ Shade ☭ | 112 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | H3gglund | 101 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | enzO | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ☆Joanito☆ | 77 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆Joanito☆ | +5.44 | 82 | 46 |
| #2 | Dsp.Sturrieh | +3.88 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | ☆Joanito☆ | +3.30 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | MORT | +1.66 | 41 | 37 |
| #5 | Gullnesen | +1.34 | 76 | 58 |





