








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3836 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2469 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1939 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 805 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,050 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1668 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maître Renard | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | NeuTroNBZh | 57% | 75 |
| #3 | Plus à mon prime | 56% | 91 |
| #4 | Maître Pims | 54% | 170 |
| #5 | 666 | 53% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ghosttt | 50% | 56 |
| #7 | SLIDER | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | ✘𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓴𝓪✘ | 47% | 38 |
| #9 | je vais te branler | 47% | 150 |
| #10 | grimlins | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | je vais te branler | 70 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | 666 | 39 | 0.0210 |
| #3 | Plus à mon prime | 34 | 0.0187 |
| #4 | Maître Pims | 17 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Ghosttt | 16 | 0.0148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maître Pims | 815 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | je vais te branler | 519 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | 666 | 391 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ghosttt | 292 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #5 | Plus à mon prime | 192 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maître Pims | +3.57 | 70 | 68 |
| #2 | Maître Renard | +2.93 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | 666 | +1.59 | 64 | 50 |
| #4 | Plus à mon prime | +1.35 | 83 | 48 |
| #5 | ✘𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓴𝓪✘ | +0.78 | 69 | 61 |





