








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




139 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5781 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7129 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3548 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5545 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,365,413 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 557 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nice ! | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | S0LSKEN⭕⃤ | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | AHNO | 54% | 198 |
| #4 | Sennar2048 | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | NeuTroNBZh | 53% | 116 |





