








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2208 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2942 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4193 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4184 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,316,910 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ghosttt | 55% | 71 |
| #8 | Nash | 53% | 116 |
| #9 | AHNO | 51% | 386 |
| #10 | Oktober-crow | 48% | 50 |
| #11 | MrSanlouis | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AHNO | 49 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Nash | 44 | 0.0191 |
| #3 | l\loXP | 29 | 0.0183 |
| #4 | Sennar2048 | 24 | 0.0164 |
| #5 | Noname | 20 | 0.0134 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AHNO | 1434 | 0.20 | 40 min |
| #2 | Nash | 434 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Ghosttt | 298 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | l\loXP | 274 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Noname | 204 | 0.14 | 4 min |





