








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 420 | 19% |
| Smokes | 681 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 606 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 563 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,213 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0nesy>Donk | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | not Zore | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | Roni Boris Varonen | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | MAN1C | 54% | 69 |
| #5 | chopped chin | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAN1C | 207 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | T4V33 | 175 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | not Zore | 134 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | M0nesy>Donk | 38 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Roni Boris Varonen | 37 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not Zore | +1.19 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | MAN1C | +1.06 | 58 | 67 |
| #3 | T4V33 | +0.31 | 57 | 59 |
| #4 | M0nesy>Donk | +0.16 | 62 | 39 |
| #5 | TAIKURI | -0.10 | 67 | 21 |





