








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 708 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3729 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4798 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4028 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2868 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,569,094 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAN1C | 55% | 149 |
| #2 | Roni Boris Varonen | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | valeasu | 49% | 67 |
| #4 | not Zore | 48% | 180 |
| #5 | Jix | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | not Zore | 48% | 180 |
| #5 | Jix | 35% | 46 |
| #6 | vok | 33% | 27 |
| #7 | Miika | 29% | 28 |
| #8 | LERRSSSI!!! | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not Zore | 24 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | MAN1C | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | valeasu | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | LERRSSSI!!! | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Jix | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not Zore | 836 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #2 | MAN1C | 441 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | valeasu | 96 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | vok | 96 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Roni Boris Varonen | 76 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vok | +1.74 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | MAN1C | +0.85 | 57 | 70 |
| #3 | LERRSSSI!!! | +0.56 | 61 | 39 |
| #4 | T4V33 | +0.22 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | not Zore | -0.81 | 69 | 56 |





