








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 121 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6121 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3644 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5945 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3834 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,006,170 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiwi | 89% | 72 |
| #2 | joy simp | 87% | 38 |
| #3 | furrypotter | 84% | 55 |
| #4 | precog` | 72% | 107 |
| #5 | MaDa | 69% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | precog` | 72% | 107 |
| #5 | MaDa | 69% | 45 |
| #6 | Real | 69% | 77 |
| #7 | BluFF | 65% | 52 |
| #8 | Pru | 64% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real | 12 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | precog` | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Pru | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | furrypotter | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | joy simp | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pru | 896 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | Real | 416 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #3 | precog` | 402 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #4 | BluFF | 278 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | joy simp | 264 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joy simp | +4.05 | 92 | 58 |
| #2 | Nice Cut G | +4.04 | 97 | 62 |
| #3 | Kiwi | +3.51 | 98 | 61 |
| #4 | BluFF | +2.34 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | furrypotter | +2.16 | 51 | 52 |





