








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,773 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 732 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1525 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1421 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1095 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,543 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓒𝓐𝓣𝓝𝓘𝓟 | 54% | 59 |
| #2 | Naj3banaPanda | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | omniover | 52% | 128 |
| #4 | Smigol | 50% | 169 |
| #5 | DelfinJestGit | 49% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | omniover | 52% | 128 |
| #4 | Smigol | 50% | 169 |
| #5 | DelfinJestGit | 49% | 72 |
| #6 | gC.m0nkey | 48% | 157 |
| #7 | gC.AnusCASE.GIFT | 46% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smigol | 17 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | DelfinJestGit | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Naj3banaPanda | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | 𝓒𝓐𝓣𝓝𝓘𝓟 | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | gC.AnusCASE.GIFT | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gC.m0nkey | 814 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #2 | gC.AnusCASE.GIFT | 512 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | Smigol | 472 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | omniover | 366 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Naj3banaPanda | 103 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gC.AnusCASE.GIFT | +1.35 | 42 | 55 |
| #2 | Smigol | +1.34 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | gC.m0nkey | +0.92 | 50 | 61 |
| #4 | Rozczar | +0.77 | 44 | 35 |
| #5 | 𝓒𝓐𝓣𝓝𝓘𝓟 | -0.54 | 53 | 32 |





