








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2141 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1936 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2127 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2134 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $840,175 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1074 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢ | SpriditisLV | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Flasher | 49% | 85 |
| #3 | Gunariks | 48% | 65 |
| #4 | BOB | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | nice try man | 44% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | krm$te | 42% | 45 |
| #9 | Svilnis™ | 39% | 33 |
| #10 | aɣyul;3 | 36% | 11 |
| #11 | Seja | 33% | 52 |
| #12 | LSD | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nice try man | 20 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Seja | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Flasher | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Gunariks | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Svilnis™ | 5 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flasher | 492 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #2 | Gunariks | 196 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | krm$te | 173 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | KKrap$i$ | 141 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Seja | 138 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seja | +4.58 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | krm$te | +1.49 | 63 | 68 |
| #3 | nice try man | +1.16 | 61 | 52 |
| #4 | Gunariks | -0.02 | 49 | 62 |
| #5 | Flasher | -0.82 | 32 | 84 |





