








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 880 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2324 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1940 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2120 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1427 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,181,605 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1687 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gl1zzY | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Kruskiks | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Flasher | 51% | 144 |
| #4 | nice try man | 51% | 144 |
| #5 | KKrap$i$ | 49% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Gunariks | 47% | 49 |
| #7 | Seja | 46% | 59 |
| #8 | funydogpranks_1995 | 42% | 45 |
| #9 | LSD | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | aɣyul;3 | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nice try man | 15 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Flasher | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | KKrap$i$ | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Seja | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | funydogpranks_1995 | 8 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flasher | 792 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #2 | KKrap$i$ | 296 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Seja | 172 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gunariks | 166 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | funydogpranks_1995 | 144 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seja | +4.16 | 93 | 62 |
| #2 | krm$te | +1.99 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | Gl1zzY | +0.84 | 70 | 53 |
| #4 | nice try man | +0.70 | 55 | 51 |
| #5 | KKrap$i$ | -1.34 | 46 | 69 |





