








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3211 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1791 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1978 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2819 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $656,986 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gustaf | 64% | 105 |
| #2 | Nutout | 62% | 79 |
| #3 | Felix | 62% | 84 |
| #4 | Abdu Rozik | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | FaZe Dougy | 51% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Felix | 62% | 84 |
| #4 | Abdu Rozik | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | FaZe Dougy | 51% | 140 |
| #6 | JesusChrist | 51% | 108 |
| #7 | ASK YO GIRL ABT ME | 50% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaZe Dougy | 26 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Nutout | 22 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | ASK YO GIRL ABT ME | 21 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Abdu Rozik | 14 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Felix | 13 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASK YO GIRL ABT ME | 260 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Gustaf | 141 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Abdu Rozik | 139 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nutout | 122 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | JesusChrist | 118 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5:4 Reggie | +2.06 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | Felix | +1.97 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | JesusChrist | +1.31 | 59 | 57 |
| #4 | Gustaf | +1.04 | 62 | 58 |
| #5 | FaZe Dougy | +0.27 | 67 | 31 |





