








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1235 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1972 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1965 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2126 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,908 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abdu Rozik | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | jourdain | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Felix | 67% | 27 |
| #4 | space man | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | 5:4 Reggie | 64% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Felix | 67% | 27 |
| #4 | space man | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | 5:4 Reggie | 64% | 105 |
| #6 | ASK YO GIRL ABT ME | 63% | 30 |
| #7 | FaZe Dougy | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | space man | 4 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | Abdu Rozik | 3 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Felix | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | 5:4 Reggie | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | ASK YO GIRL ABT ME | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5:4 Reggie | 215 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | jourdain | 65 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | ASK YO GIRL ABT ME | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Felix | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Abdu Rozik | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jourdain | +2.80 | 85 | 73 |
| #2 | 5:4 Reggie | +1.29 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | Felix | +1.26 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | Gustaf | +0.44 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | space man | -0.52 | 36 | 21 |





