








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2053 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1111 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1006 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 691 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,430 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sutku | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | MΓΆlis | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | death | 63% | 43 |
| #4 | R2F | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | π±πΆπΆπππβ | 55% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π±πΆπΆπππβ | 16 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Rankaisija | 14 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | Suppo | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | MΓΆlis | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | P. Ekka | 2 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π±πΆπΆπππβ | 272 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Suppo | 150 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Miek | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | MΓΆlis | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rankaisija | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | death | +2.26 | 78 | 41 |
| #2 | π±πΆπΆπππβ | +1.44 | 64 | 71 |
| #3 | P. Ekka | +1.27 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | Miek | +1.17 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | Kalevii | +1.00 | 71 | 70 |





