








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 806 | 30% |
| Smokes | 789 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 496 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 591 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,588 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalevii | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | death | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | R2F | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Rankaisija | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | 𝒱𝒶𝒶𝓀𝓀𝓊♕ | 52% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝒱𝒶𝒶𝓀𝓀𝓊♕ | 12 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Rankaisija | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Kalevii | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Sutku | 3 | 0.0203 |
| #5 | dr rönttölä | 2 | 0.0143 |





