










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3048 | 39% |
| Smokes | 125 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 1681 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2945 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,683,539 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uʍɐp | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | HORSES DONT STOP THEY KEEP GOIN | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | I Meow for treats | 48% | 106 |
| #4 | plappenstothebreastofus | 48% | 177 |
| #5 | 𝔈𝔩𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱 | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plappenstothebreastofus | 19 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | 9 | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | I Meow for treats | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | yurinary incontinence | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | DogGirlAnya | 5 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔈𝔩𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱 | +3.82 | 74 | 28 |
| #2 | plappenstothebreastofus | +3.35 | 77 | 34 |
| #3 | I Meow for treats | +2.03 | 57 | 20 |
| #4 | yurinary incontinence | +1.03 | 58 | 57 |
| #5 | uʍɐp | +0.92 | 52 | 49 |





