








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 1051 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




784 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
19205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11741 | 59% |
| Smokes | 1684 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 2735 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3904 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,698,496 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12544 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aerocliq | 83% | 81 |
| #2 | TooSpicyBro | 64% | 182 |
| #3 | Blep | 58% | 671 |
| #4 | NISO | 55% | 278 |
| #5 | The man in the corner | 53% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NISO | 109 | 0.0199 |
| #2 | Blep | 88 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | shampowo | 66 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | Alfredo Linguini | 37 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | artist | 24 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blep | 1792 | 0.14 | 38 min |
| #2 | shampowo | 969 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #3 | NISO | 576 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #4 | TooSpicyBro | 434 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | artist | 335 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blep | +4.24 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | shampowo | +2.36 | 64 | 43 |
| #3 | TooSpicyBro | +1.53 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | The man in the corner | +1.42 | 69 | 42 |
| #5 | aerocliq | +1.14 | 35 | 65 |





