








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1586 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 650 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




126 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12349 | 26% |
| Smokes | 11743 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9481 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 13767 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,419,858 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4075 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aerocliq | 80% | 87 |
| #2 | Orion | 71% | 119 |
| #3 | TooSpicyBro | 66% | 220 |
| #4 | NISO | 61% | 281 |
| #5 | Remi | 58% | 671 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | The man in the corner | 57% | 156 |
| #8 | Alfredo Linguini | 53% | 273 |
| #9 | artist | 53% | 93 |
| #10 | zephyr | 52% | 65 |
| #11 | skrundle | 49% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remi | 389 | 0.0302 |
| #2 | NISO | 74 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | shampowo | 41 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | The man in the corner | 24 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Orion | 21 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remi | 1645 | 0.13 | 34 min |
| #2 | shampowo | 937 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | NISO | 558 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #4 | TooSpicyBro | 502 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | The man in the corner | 470 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blep | +3.68 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | shampowo | +1.97 | 70 | 49 |
| #3 | TooSpicyBro | +1.71 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | Orion | +1.15 | 69 | 63 |
| #5 | The man in the corner | +0.98 | 67 | 53 |





