








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




174 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7971 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3532 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 5559 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5773 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,233,353 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 919 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TooSpicyBro | 68% | 53 |
| #2 | Damocles | 64% | 149 |
| #3 | Blep | 61% | 281 |
| #4 | Esports MichealWave2004 | 57% | 211 |
| #5 | artist | 56% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remi | 164 | 0.0301 |
| #2 | Blep | 30 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Esports MichealWave2004 | 29 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | shampowo | 22 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | Damocles | 21 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blep | 830 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | Remi | 731 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | Damocles | 588 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | shampowo | 370 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | Esports MichealWave2004 | 335 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blep | +5.04 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | Damocles | +2.89 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | shampowo | +1.99 | 63 | 44 |
| #4 | Esports MichealWave2004 | +1.98 | 51 | 50 |
| #5 | Remi | +1.52 | 75 | 43 |





