








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 970 | 38% |
| Smokes | 650 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 402 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 506 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $449,158 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QueefyNuts | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | Mase | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | minmin | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | Doodle Bob's Vessel | 46% | 59 |
| #5 | Dudley Spec | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny | 618 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #2 | Bob From Microsoft | 182 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Doodle Bob's Vessel | 129 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | minmin | 119 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dudley Spec | 69 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minmin | +6.56 | 81 | 36 |
| #2 | Donny | +4.04 | 64 | 65 |
| #3 | Mase | +1.11 | 54 | 18 |
| #4 | QueefyNuts | +0.90 | 63 | 45 |
| #5 | plague | -1.59 | 41 | 42 |





