








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1571 | 37% |
| Smokes | 553 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1447 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 665 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $883,202 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dudley Spec | 67% | 60 |
| #2 | Bob From Microsoft | 61% | 75 |
| #3 | QueefyNuts | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Donny | 56% | 101 |
| #5 | Doodle Bob's Vessel | 54% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny | 525 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #2 | Bob From Microsoft | 202 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mase | 151 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Doodle Bob's Vessel | 118 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | plague | 110 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donny | +4.93 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | minmin | +4.34 | 78 | 43 |
| #3 | QueefyNuts | +1.62 | 70 | 42 |
| #4 | Mase | +0.68 | 46 | 35 |
| #5 | Dudley Spec | -1.22 | 39 | 30 |





