








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 291 matches | ||
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




296 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15481 | 37% |
| Smokes | 10989 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7438 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7623 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,438,295 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6856 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benson | 601 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Bob From Microsoft | 337 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mase | 296 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Doodle Bob's Vessel | 296 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | plague | 255 | 0.11 | 6 min |





