








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 453 matches | ||
| Faceit | 166 matches | ||
| Esplay | 35 matches | 1,791 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7528 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9119 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7070 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7975 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,450,745 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Zitaogr | 46% | 266 |
| #11 | Maximus Potensius | 46% | 101 |
| #12 | Snej | 45% | 303 |
| #13 | Waifu❤💋💕😘🎂😍🥰 | 43% | 65 |
| #14 | Smoggy Toast | 43% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndersDrogba | 71 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Baune | 58 | 0.0274 |
| #3 | Smoggy Toast | 24 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Extnat ⛟ | 23 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Waifu❤💋💕😘🎂😍🥰 | 18 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndersDrogba | 964 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | Acozin☃ (个_个) | 731 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | Zitaogr | 694 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #4 | Smoggy Toast | 609 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #5 | Snej | 586 | 0.09 | 13 min |





