








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 764 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Esplay | 58 matches | 2,026 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




112 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5021 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4364 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4569 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3311 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,450,867 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ►Jever◄ | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Snej | 53% | 105 |
| #3 | Acozin☃ (个_个) | 53% | 102 |
| #4 | Extnat ⛟ | 53% | 78 |
| #5 | Zitaogr | 52% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baune | 29 | 0.0337 |
| #2 | Lurpak | 21 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Smoggy Toast | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Zitaogr | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Extnat ⛟ | 9 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lurpak | 799 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | Zitaogr | 355 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Smoggy Toast | 278 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Acozin☃ (个_个) | 266 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Snej | 225 | 0.10 | 5 min |





