








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




159 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 793 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3621 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 2420 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 642 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,953,942 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ginger bread man | 48% | 96 |
| #2 | Tyrone | 45% | 138 |
| #3 | Steve | 42% | 67 |
| #4 | Zepher | 41% | 197 |
| #5 | Pablo | 39% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pablo | 39% | 253 |
| #6 | Charlie Brown | 38% | 244 |
| #7 | Dude Wonderful | 33% | 36 |
| #8 | Viper | 29% | 31 |
| #9 | meow | 23% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablo | 47 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Zepher | 17 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Steve | 13 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Dude Wonderful | 13 | 0.0200 |
| #5 | Charlie Brown | 12 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zepher | 639 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Pablo | 410 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | Charlie Brown | 371 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Tyrone | 257 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ginger bread man | 200 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve | +4.94 | 67 | 28 |
| #2 | Ginger bread man | +3.59 | 38 | 49 |
| #3 | Melon | +2.23 | 64 | 30 |
| #4 | Tyrone | +1.38 | 33 | 58 |
| #5 | Zepher | -0.08 | 32 | 42 |





