








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2207 | 25% |
| Smokes | 832 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 3998 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 1885 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,244,519 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnny sins | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | karrigan | 58% | 96 |
| #3 | lustig | 58% | 88 |
| #4 | Adde | 53% | 123 |
| #5 | jxon | 52% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | lustig | 58% | 88 |
| #4 | Adde | 53% | 123 |
| #5 | jxon | 52% | 52 |
| #6 | master baiter | 51% | 105 |
| #7 | Boris | 46% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | master baiter | 53 | 0.0238 |
| #2 | lustig | 25 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Boris | 20 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Adde | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | karrigan | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | master baiter | 292 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Boris | 212 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | lustig | 178 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | jxon | 135 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | karrigan | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jxon | +6.70 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | master baiter | +3.21 | 72 | 79 |
| #3 | karrigan | +1.95 | 67 | 46 |
| #4 | johnny sins | +1.79 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | lustig | +0.83 | 63 | 51 |





