








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2737 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2420 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3101 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2736 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $905,664 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnny sins | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | Leif here | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | StRoBoCoCk | 51% | 105 |
| #4 | Adde | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | lustig | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | StRoBoCoCk | 51% | 105 |
| #4 | Adde | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | lustig | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | 02 | 47% | 32 |
| #7 | Boris | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StRoBoCoCk | 28 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Leif here | 13 | 0.0489 |
| #3 | Adde | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | lustig | 6 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Boris | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StRoBoCoCk | 144 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | 02 | 105 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Adde | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | johnny sins | 82 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | lustig | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnny sins | +2.54 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | master baiter | +2.38 | 70 | 76 |
| #3 | Leif here | +0.26 | 75 | 41 |
| #4 | lustig | -0.23 | 64 | 50 |
| #5 | StRoBoCoCk | -0.54 | 68 | 44 |





