








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 617 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2054 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1628 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1431 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,003 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jxon | 53% | 58 |
| #2 | karrigan | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | johnny sins | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | Adde | 48% | 56 |
| #5 | StRoBoCoCk | 46% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Adde | 48% | 56 |
| #5 | StRoBoCoCk | 46% | 221 |
| #6 | lustig | 39% | 44 |
| #7 | master baiter | 38% | 29 |
| #8 | King. | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StRoBoCoCk | 42 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | master baiter | 17 | 0.0274 |
| #3 | lustig | 12 | 0.0162 |
| #4 | Adde | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | King. | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StRoBoCoCk | 263 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | jxon | 150 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | johnny sins | 104 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | master baiter | 87 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | lustig | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jxon | +6.49 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | master baiter | +3.65 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | johnny sins | +2.57 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | karrigan | +1.06 | 62 | 47 |
| #5 | King. | +0.92 | 67 | 53 |





