








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1477 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1021 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1543 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 906 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,082,969 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BJ Matt | 40% | 42 |
| #8 | Mick | 37% | 54 |
| #9 | Cid | 36% | 80 |
| #10 | ScrupulousSam | 36% | 127 |
| #11 | MangoKun | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScrupulousSam | 31 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | D3VN | 31 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | jaer | 30 | 0.0290 |
| #4 | BJ Matt | 20 | 0.0233 |
| #5 | PerniciousSam | 18 | 0.0397 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3VN | 223 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | ScrupulousSam | 161 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mick | 140 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cid | 133 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | jaer | 127 | 0.12 | 3 min |





