








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




181 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4900 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3542 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2872 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3104 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,027,334 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 613 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3VN | 61% | 144 |
| #2 | MangoKun | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | Mick | 53% | 70 |
| #4 | ScrupulousSam | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | PerniciousSam | 49% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BJ Matt | 63 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | PerniciousSam | 46 | 0.0215 |
| #3 | ScrupulousSam | 35 | 0.0183 |
| #4 | D3VN | 32 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | Cid | 20 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3VN | 501 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | PerniciousSam | 273 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Cid | 235 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mick | 206 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | BJ Matt | 144 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3VN | +3.23 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | jaer | +1.64 | 82 | 56 |
| #3 | PerniciousSam | +0.57 | 71 | 52 |
| #4 | BJ Matt | +0.26 | 51 | 35 |
| #5 | Mick | -0.23 | 38 | 53 |





