








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 382 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




176 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6171 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3826 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 8831 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 2399 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,471,597 of utility $264 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3854 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3VN | 60% | 87 |
| #2 | BJ Matt | 57% | 65 |
| #3 | jaer | 49% | 93 |
| #4 | Mick | 47% | 126 |
| #5 | Cid | 46% | 274 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaer | 63 | 0.0328 |
| #2 | BJ Matt | 40 | 0.0307 |
| #3 | PerniciousSam | 39 | 0.0236 |
| #4 | Cid | 36 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | D3VN | 34 | 0.0196 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cid | 518 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | Mick | 357 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | jaer | 287 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | D3VN | 252 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | PerniciousSam | 239 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D3VN | +6.98 | 82 | 53 |
| #2 | jaer | +4.37 | 83 | 51 |
| #3 | BJ Matt | +3.64 | 56 | 39 |
| #4 | PerniciousSam | +1.62 | 70 | 52 |
| #5 | Cid | +0.69 | 56 | 50 |





