








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1933 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1963 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2552 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3007 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,172,458 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | REDDSY | 55% | 89 |
| #3 | Tildor ♡ | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 51% | 184 |
| #5 | Tipsy Tobb | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tildor ♡ | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 51% | 184 |
| #5 | Tipsy Tobb | 48% | 62 |
| #6 | george | 48% | 96 |
| #7 | Vulcan | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REDDSY | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | george | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Tipsy Tobb | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 681 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | REDDSY | 303 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 101 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tipsy Tobb | 66 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | george | 56 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | +4.65 | 48 | 72 |
| #2 | REDDSY | +2.81 | 77 | 54 |
| #3 | Tipsy Tobb | +1.90 | 75 | 50 |
| #4 | george | +1.61 | 43 | 61 |
| #5 | 11yo 𝕶𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊 (SE) | -0.31 | 41 | 49 |





