








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 850 | 22% |
| Smokes | 974 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 971 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1065 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,060 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | löylypoika | 43% | 30 |
| #10 | K-V | 40% | 15 |
| #11 | arskaシ♥ | 36% | 22 |
| #12 | ✠☭VVL☭✠ | 36% | 14 |
| #13 | Wohwel1 | 31% | 35 |





