








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1072 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 138 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9963 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8498 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8058 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6984 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,135 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1421 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Aligator | 49% | 57 |
| #9 | Danavans | 48% | 178 |
| #10 | Meeskuzh | 48% | 139 |
| #11 | ✪ Azh0gg | 45% | 74 |
| #12 | Ben's | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryckless ツ | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Kaizarr | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Meeskuzh | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Danavans | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | benj | 5 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryckless ツ | 616 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Sicilia_^ | 542 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | KsDruido | 394 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kaizarr | 390 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | Meeskuzh | 317 | 0.10 | 8 min |





