








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 843 | 19% |
| Smokes | 876 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1606 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1140 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $200,719 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Shotgun | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Cousin Greg | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | iLLquid | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Lightning Blitz | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | msz | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | msz | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | Tambo 外国王者 | 47% | 49 |
| #7 | Goldfist_CN | 41% | 98 |
| #8 | AWPerator - NellyS | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | FluffyxBlanket | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousin Greg | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Mr Shotgun | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Goldfist_CN | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Tambo 外国王者 | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Lightning Blitz | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FluffyxBlanket | 179 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Cousin Greg | 178 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Goldfist_CN | 105 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lightning Blitz | 89 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | iLLquid | 87 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousin Greg | +2.40 | 69 | 82 |
| #2 | iLLquid | +1.62 | 77 | 76 |
| #3 | Wimmas四川 | +0.69 | 56 | 70 |
| #4 | FluffyxBlanket | +0.03 | 58 | 67 |
| #5 | Mr Shotgun | +0.01 | 61 | 63 |





