








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5780 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4512 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2355 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4422 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $593,639 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChickenLiver | 72% | 61 |
| #2 | Krissy | 71% | 38 |
| #3 | Susboy シ | 71% | 31 |
| #4 | celery | 70% | 88 |
| #5 | Speedyw69 | 70% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Speedyw69 | 70% | 98 |
| #6 | captain crunch | 67% | 138 |
| #7 | JackPot | 67% | 42 |
| #8 | alwayslucky<3 | 62% | 42 |
| #9 | enfohip | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alwayslucky<3 | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | captain crunch | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Susboy シ | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Speedyw69 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ChickenLiver | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | captain crunch | 712 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | celery | 296 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | ChickenLiver | 258 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | enfohip | 205 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #5 | Krissy | 171 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | captain crunch | +2.97 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | celery | +2.60 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | We Todd Ed | +2.55 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | Speedyw69 | +0.50 | 80 | 62 |
| #5 | enfohip | +0.47 | 77 | 71 |





