








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 985 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2634 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2862 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5506 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5403 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,331,748 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muse | 75% | 48 |
| #2 | We Todd Ed | 70% | 98 |
| #3 | celery | 66% | 313 |
| #4 | captain crunch | 66% | 62 |
| #5 | ChickenLiver | 65% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | JackPot | 62% | 254 |
| #8 | alwayslucky<3 | 62% | 63 |
| #9 | jes | 60% | 40 |
| #10 | Adin Ross | 59% | 79 |
| #11 | Bearcats tyler | 58% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celery | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | JackPot | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | alwayslucky<3 | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | muse | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | captain crunch | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celery | 1032 | 0.16 | 36 min |
| #2 | We Todd Ed | 448 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | captain crunch | 330 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #4 | JackPot | 314 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | alwayslucky<3 | 246 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celery | +3.17 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | muse | +2.39 | 88 | 48 |
| #3 | Adin Ross | +1.78 | 91 | 46 |
| #4 | captain crunch | +1.38 | 87 | 72 |
| #5 | Speedyw69 | +1.37 | 81 | 60 |





