










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1335 | 39% |
| Smokes | 542 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1009 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 515 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,130 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็k | 49% | 67 |
| #2 | Glonk | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | Heedoo | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | 380moggerpeek | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Njargin | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็k | 49% | 67 |
| #2 | Glonk | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | Heedoo | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | 380moggerpeek | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Njargin | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็k | 41 | 0.0307 |
| #2 | Glonk | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | 380moggerpeek | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็k | 180 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Glonk | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Njargin | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Heedoo | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | 380moggerpeek | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็k | +3.19 | 74 | 44 |
| #2 | Njargin | +0.49 | 55 | 42 |
| #3 | molecule | +0.16 | 82 | 48 |
| #4 | Glonk | -4.01 | 9 | 33 |
| #5 | Heedoo | -4.06 | 25 | 35 |





