










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 202 | 31% |
| Smokes | 284 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 51 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 116 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $88,001 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Njargin | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | molecule | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | ็k | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Heedoo | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Njargin | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | molecule | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | ็k | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Heedoo | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | molecule | 10 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | ็k | 7 | 0.0242 |
| #3 | Heedoo | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | molecule | 82 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | ็k | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Heedoo | 25 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Njargin | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็k | +6.12 | 80 | 39 |
| #2 | Njargin | +4.58 | 61 | 37 |
| #3 | molecule | +3.63 | 84 | 48 |
| #4 | Heedoo | +0.92 | 29 | 38 |
| #5 | Glonk | -2.08 | 12 | 27 |





