










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1055 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Renown | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9562 | 56% |
| Smokes | 2927 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1404 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 3156 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $742,472 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1002 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nolsey | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | ThatPattyGuy | 44% | 63 |
| #3 | Castorice | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | CAT (war) | 38% | 58 |
| #5 | ZaDrAx | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ThatPattyGuy | 44% | 63 |
| #3 | Castorice | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | CAT (war) | 38% | 58 |
| #5 | ZaDrAx | 36% | 22 |
| #6 | Alzealot | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatPattyGuy | 8 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | CAT (war) | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Nolsey | 5 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Castorice | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ZaDrAx | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alzealot | 119 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | CAT (war) | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | ThatPattyGuy | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Castorice | 79 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nolsey | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Castorice | +3.64 | 70 | 57 |
| #2 | ThatPattyGuy | +0.88 | 65 | 39 |
| #3 | CAT (war) | +0.63 | 70 | 34 |
| #4 | Alzealot | -0.03 | 43 | 60 |
| #5 | ZaDrAx | -0.17 | 39 | 48 |





