








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 701 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




169 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5329 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4856 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2716 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4120 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,231,175 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | 𝕣❍𝕫 | 52% | 295 |
| #3 | Salmon | 51% | 238 |
| #4 | Deka | 51% | 456 |
| #5 | oppsh | 51% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deka | 115 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | 호아퀸 | 88 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | 𝕣❍𝕫 | 66 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Salmon | 19 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | yoosi'Jin | 12 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 호아퀸 | 1512 | 0.15 | 39 min |
| #2 | 𝕣❍𝕫 | 1264 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #3 | Deka | 780 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #4 | oppsh | 468 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #5 | Salmon | 444 | 0.09 | 12 min |





