










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
74 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 119 | 94% |
| Smokes | 1 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 2 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 5 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $23,900 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CokeDragon | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | FarmD Enthusiast | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Chains_CS | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | KezzaMcFezza | 78% | 9 |
| #5 | FURAA- | 75% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KezzaMcFezza | 9 | 0.0497 |
| #2 | Chains_CS | 8 | 0.0442 |
| #3 | FURAA- | 4 | 0.0165 |
| #4 | FarmD Enthusiast | 2 | 0.0213 |
| #5 | CokeDragon | 2 | 0.0317 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KezzaMcFezza | 63 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| #2 | Check my search history :) | 13 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #3 | FURAA- | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | FarmD Enthusiast | 8 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Chains_CS | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chains_CS | +4.74 | 77 | 32 |
| #2 | FURAA- | +4.73 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | KezzaMcFezza | +3.12 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | CokeDragon | +3.10 | 61 | 42 |
| #5 | Check my search history :) | +0.42 | 60 | 29 |





