








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 296 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2606 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1917 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4780 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 3273 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,292,782 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ooga booga nig nog monkey fucker | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Джед | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | Milk | 52% | 64 |
| #4 | PussInBootsヅ | 46% | 119 |
| #5 | gBL_ | 46% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ooga booga nig nog monkey fucker | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Джед | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | Milk | 52% | 64 |
| #4 | PussInBootsヅ | 46% | 119 |
| #5 | gBL_ | 46% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gBL_ | 27 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | Джед | 16 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | Milk | 15 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | ooga booga nig nog monkey fucker | 13 | 0.0230 |
| #5 | PussInBootsヅ | 8 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milk | 237 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | PussInBootsヅ | 226 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Джед | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | ooga booga nig nog monkey fucker | 63 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | gBL_ | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milk | +5.22 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | Джед | +3.52 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | gBL_ | +3.51 | 79 | 31 |
| #4 | ooga booga nig nog monkey fucker | +0.74 | 73 | 49 |
| #5 | BigTozzer | -1.42 | 40 | 56 |





