








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1255 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1720 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1575 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1413 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,895 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | gBL_ | 57% | 67 |
| #3 | Джед | 55% | 85 |
| #4 | PussInBootsヅ | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | BigTozzer | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milk | 27 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Джед | 25 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | gBL_ | 17 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 8 | 0.0190 |
| #5 | BigTozzer | 7 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milk | 435 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Джед | 257 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | gBL_ | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | PussInBootsヅ | 51 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 33 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milk | +2.31 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | Джед | +2.16 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | ooga booga nig nog monkey fucker | -0.03 | 81 | 47 |
| #4 | gBL_ | -0.24 | 71 | 39 |
| #5 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | -0.72 | 56 | 36 |





