








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13233 | 39% |
| Smokes | 7028 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6264 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7170 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,731,518 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unsat uwu | 16 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | REKMEISTER | 15 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | seb-a-licious | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Boodee | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | jchancE | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boodee | 700 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | BeaKie | 672 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #3 | Killer | 480 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #4 | s1n | 336 | 0.35 | 11 min |
| #5 | jchancE | 276 | 0.14 | 8 min |





