








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 171 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 170 | 23% |
| Smokes | 214 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 210 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 142 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $187,840 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ouf | 44% | 16 |
| #2 | Hanzsapai | 38% | 82 |
| #3 | 'vecros | 36% | 22 |
| #4 | Karoline | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | Ark ϟ | 32% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ouf | 44% | 16 |
| #2 | Hanzsapai | 38% | 82 |
| #3 | 'vecros | 36% | 22 |
| #4 | Karoline | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | Ark ϟ | 32% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanzsapai | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | ouf | 6 | 0.0190 |
| #3 | Ark ϟ | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanzsapai | 228 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ark ϟ | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | ouf | 32 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | 'vecros | 18 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Karoline | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanzsapai | +2.50 | 65 | 65 |
| #2 | Karoline | +1.57 | 42 | 26 |
| #3 | Ark ϟ | +0.68 | 80 | 42 |
| #4 | 'vecros | -2.49 | 28 | 37 |
| #5 | Grischa | -3.28 | 29 | 15 |





