








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1660 | 35% |
| Smokes | 859 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1625 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 617 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,072 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JayP | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | smol chicken | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | 'vecros | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Ark ϟ | 49% | 116 |
| #5 | Karoline | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 'vecros | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Ark ϟ | 49% | 116 |
| #5 | Karoline | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | ouf | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | Grischa | 38% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grischa | 22 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Ark ϟ | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ouf | 5 | 0.0279 |
| #4 | JayP | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ark ϟ | 134 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | JayP | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | ouf | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | 'vecros | 17 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | smol chicken | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JayP | +3.93 | 59 | 61 |
| #2 | Hanzsapai | +2.00 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | Karoline | +1.91 | 46 | 28 |
| #4 | smol chicken | +0.77 | 44 | 58 |
| #5 | Ark ϟ | +0.04 | 73 | 41 |





