








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1020 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1031 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 437 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 612 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,407 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | XXVII | Fukiashi | 52% | 21 |
| #10 | Viviiiann | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | 𝓚𝓪𝓻𝓶𝓪 | 40% | 15 |
| #12 | Kermit | 40% | 30 |
| #13 | Roulée | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XV | Bud1 | 213 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kermit | 72 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | XXVII | Fukiashi | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪Mr.Sloot™ | 46 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝓚𝓪𝓻𝓶𝓪 | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |





