










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 877 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 753 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1929 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3372 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6495 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 3689 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,818,788 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Indy | 51% | 73 |
| #2 | Earth_Angel | 45% | 161 |
| #3 | Gem-II-ni | 44% | 115 |
| #4 | Phil MaCooter | 44% | 124 |
| #5 | lordsnoop | 43% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Earth_Angel | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Phil MaCooter | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Gem-II-ni | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Indy | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | HyP | bubly | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HyP | bubly | 759 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | Phil MaCooter | 389 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Earth_Angel | 363 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Emosaurus Rex | 210 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | lordsnoop | 192 | 0.09 | 5 min |





