








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 923 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 414 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4840 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6956 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6614 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4684 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,568,761 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2041 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Doug GimmieDome | 47% | 109 |
| #6 | laitraP | 46% | 70 |
| #7 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | 43% | 171 |
| #8 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | 41% | 140 |
| #9 | arctos | 38% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | 525 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | Torq ツ | 449 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | 364 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | laitraP | 254 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | Zhadius | 251 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laitraP | +2.79 | 77 | 53 |
| #2 | Zhadius | +2.43 | 59 | 67 |
| #3 | 4Why | +1.93 | 54 | 49 |
| #4 | Doug GimmieDome | +1.66 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | +1.35 | 71 | 51 |





